More Cruel Than The Truth
by Liesel Meminger
Summary: Minerva comes back to Hogwarts and finds herself with many questions about everything, but mostly about the man who holds her heart.
1. Part I

Disclaimer: Not mine, not mine, NOT MINE

_Disclaimer: Not mine, not mine, NOT MINE!_

_A.N.: Okay, so this idea popped into my head while I was trying to study chemistry. But you didn't need to know that. Anyway, there's a second part of this story, which is already written, and which will clear up some things and wrap it all up. It will be longer than this one; tell me if it's worth posting._

She breathed deeply to gather courage. Minerva McGonagall, former Head Girl of Gryffindor, was scared. Scared of her past, the past she was about to step into once again. She looked up and saw the castle; Hogwarts stood exactly as it was when she'd left it, seven years ago. Was she ready to start living her life from a different perspective, from Auror to Professor? Oh, yes, she was more than ready. But was she ready to face everything she had left behind? Her friends, her dreams… her love. Was it really love, or just a crush of a girl on her professor? Was it love that had her thinking about him every day and night? Was it love that, even after seven years, had burned the image of him inside her head? Was it love that had her wanting desperately to be with him, no matter how many years there were in between them? And why was she searching for another name for what she felt? Too many thoughts, too many questions. And maybe she would never be able to answer them all.

The double doors of the castle opened, and _he_ was standing there, exactly as he were when she'd left him, seven years ago. The auburn hair, the twinkling blue eyes, and the horrible taste for colors.

"Minerva!" he stared at her in disbelief: was it possible that she had changed so much and yet had changed nothing?

"Professor Dumbledore" she said politely and fought the urge to jump into his arms. What were them besides colleagues, now? _Great change,_ she thought, _from student and professor, to employee and employer. _

"Call me Albus. You are not my student anymore"

Oh, yes, she knew that very well, and wondered if he knew what those words meant for her. He took the bag from her hand and she trembled slightly as his hand brushed against hers. They walked side by side through the empty corridors of the castle, talking about her times as a student, what she had been doing those past years, and everything that came into their minds.

"I suppose I'll leave you now to unpack and make yourself at home" he said, when they reached the door of her private chambers.

"Thank you, Albus"

"You're welcome" he smiled and started turning around to walk away, but decided against it. "You know, Minerva, it's been a long time since I had an opponent able to beat me at chess. You're an excellent player, from what I remember. Would you care to accompany me for a game after you've settled in, my dear?"

It was the first time he'd called her 'my dear'. She didn't know what exactly he meant by calling her that, but she found she loved it. It was that what put the huge smile she had upon her face.

"I'd be delighted"

He said nothing, but was smiling when took her hand in his and kissed it.

Minerva watched Albus walk away until he turned around the corner and she wasn't able to see him anymore. She backed herself against the wall and sighed contently. What was he doing to her? Less than ten minutes ago, she was scared to death upon the idea of returning to the castle, but now… She'd promised herself she wouldn't feel this way about him anymore, but it was so difficult to bury it all inside her, and he being such a gentleman wasn't helping at all. Well, maybe life at Hogwarts wouldn't be so bad after all. Or it would be dreadful. But, maybe, just maybe, she would get those answers she had been searching for.

_TBC_


	2. Part II

Minerva had started, as Albus said, to settle in and make herself at home. Not exactly a difficult or unpleasant task, since Hogwarts had been her home for almost her entire life. She was just the prodigal daughter returning home after seven years of absence.

She unpacked a few belongings quickly, not wanting to waste time inside her rooms. But time to be spent on it was necessary: the decorations needed to be changed, or else she wouldn't be able to set foot on it again. The former occupant – Albus, whom else? – had a strange liking for lime-green sheets and purple pillows, which just wouldn't do. Settling for a Gryffindor red and gold, she finally sighed contently.

Next thing on her list was get down to the staff room to meet her colleagues. She sure was expecting a few of her ex-professors and the new additions she had read about on the Daily Prophet, but what she wasn't expecting was seeing her best friends with whom she'd lost contact over the years, Poppy Pomfrey and Pomona Sprout. After a lot of catching up which included girly squeals from Poppy, Minerva left her friends with the promise of a girl's night out the following day.

It was later than she'd expected when she started making her way to the Headmaster's office. They had little over than an hour before dinner to play chess, and as far as she remembered, their games could last for hours and neither of them would notice. In her sixth year, when she had started her Animagi training with him, sometimes they would just forget he had to teach her how to transform into a cat, and just play chess into the night, him telling stories and she laughing, drinking cocoa and tea, respectively. It was because of him that her Animagi form was a cat. The memory was from her seventh year and she couldn't remember some parts of it, but it was still there, and it would be forever. Minerva shut her eyes tightly trying to prevent the memories, but it was useless.

_They were on his office, playing chess for the first time. Minerva couldn't tear her eyes away from the phoenix which was preparing for death and rebirth._

"_You know, I do find Fawkes amazing" said Minerva._

"_Me too, but I never would imagine myself having a bird for a pet"_

"_Why not?"_

"_You see, I've always considered myself more what people would call a 'cat-person'"_

"_That's a big change, from cats to birds. Why not have cats, then?"_

"_When I was young, mother wouldn't let me get any animals inside the house; Aberforth was allergic. So when I came to Hogwarts to teach, I decided the first thing on my list was to buy a kitten. Nothing, absolutely nothing, would keep me from having my so desired cat. Or so I thought."_

"_Will I want to know what happened?"_

"_Ms. Norris"_

"_What? You're telling me Ms. Norris already existed when you started working here? But that's impossible!"_

"_I assure you, she was already here, and so was Mr. Filch."_

"_Merlin, how old they must be now?"_

"_I don't know, but there would be a lot of digits"_

"_Say, what did centenary Ms. Norris do?"_

"_It chased my poor tabby cat for miles, and wouldn't leave it alone. Mr. Filch started complaining about 'another cat on Ms. Norris territory' and Armando thought it was better to give it away."_

"_And then…"_

"_And then I realized a bird would be more practical. I didn't want a common owl, and since I was looking for a friend for my whole life long – and I intend to live a lot - , a phoenix seemed to be the more suitable option."_

"_So that's how you got Fawkes"_

"_That's how I got Fawkes. But I'm still fond of cats, though"_

That moment she knew what her Animagi form would be. A couple weeks later, when he'd asked her if she'd decided which animal she would like to be, she could swear she saw a knowing smile reach his eyes when she told him about her choice. If he knew, he had never commented on that.

Minerva shook her head as if it would help her out of the past. She had far too many memories of him, and them always decided to make themselves known in the worst times. She looked around. Where was she? Oh, that's right; she was going to play chess with Albus. For a second she thought she was back on her seventh year again. She definitely should stop thinking about him.

She slowly raised her hand to knock on the door.

_TBC_

_A.N.: SO SORRY to leave you guys here, but I decided that I'm gonna keep my chapters short. I know this chapter did not answer many things, but… Wait and see wink, wink Please, read and review, I'll be forever grateful._


	3. Part III

"Come in, Minerva" she heard from inside. Surprised, she opened the door to find him sat on a couch near the fireplace. He got up and smiled at her.

"How did you know it was me?" she asked before he could say anything.

"Two taps, pause, two taps. Only you knock that way" he smiled.

So he still remembered the way she knocked on the door. What else did he remember about her? She needed to find out, to know if the information he held about her was as much as the information she held about him.

"Shall we start?" he asked, pointing to the chess board on a small table in the middle of the room.

She merely nodded; she was too busy taking notice of the changes in the office. The last time she had been here, the office belonged to Headmaster Dippet, and it was a much more simple room. Now it was full of small tables with strange objects on them, and the chairs seemed more comfortable and less intimidating than they used to be.

A few minutes passed as they started the game and fell into a comfortable silence. Minerva wanted to ask him so many things, but couldn't bring herself to do it. He saved her from the need of starting a conversation:

"Did you speak with Madam Pomfrey and Professor Sprout? They couldn't contain their joy when I told them you're to arrive."

She smiled "Yes. I'll be going out with them tomorrow; there are so many things to talk about…"

A cloud of emotions appeared in her eyes, but it was gone instantaneously when Albus reached for her hand over the table and held it within his own.

"It is not your fault, you know" he said gently.

"I know. Thank you"

"Did Poppy tell you about the marriage?" he asked. She nodded.

"Yes, and I'm so happy for her. I wish I could be there, though"

"It was not a very big affair, only a few people. She would have invited you, but none of us knew where you were"

"Poppy Dumbledore" said Minerva, testing the new name of her friend. She looked at Albus "I see now why she kept her maiden name"

"Yes, to avoid confusion. The students would think she was married to me, and Aberforth would have my head for it"

She laughed. It was so good to feel this way, carefree. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt this way, but she knew it had been while with him.

"Poppy really loves Aberforth. She kept saying that being married is possibly one of the greatest things on the world. She told me I would be next"

"Next to settle down or next to marry a Dumbledore?"

She was shocked by his question, to say the least. What did he mean by that? Was he saying what she'd always wanted him to say, or was he only teasing her? How should she answer without making a fool out of herself? She smiled and focused her attention on the chessboard, his words still ringing on her mind. This man really didn't know what he could do to her.

"Albus, we should go down to dinner" she said after what seemed like hours.

"Oh, I had completely forgotten about the time." He said surprised, checking the grandfather's clock on the wall.

Minerva started to stand up to leave, the game unfinished on the chessboard, but Albus put a hand on her arm to stop her. She did, and did time: she could no longer feel the world around them, or see anything besides him, only him, a similar sensation to what she felt when he kissed her hand a few hours ago. He seemed to feel it too, for he lingered his hand on her arm more than necessary.

"We could have dinner here" he said.

She merely nodded, not knowing what she agreed to, and, within seconds, his desk had moved from its original position to the center of the room, all the papers it had upon it vanished and were replaced with a beautiful tablecloth and a chair appeared at each side.

Albus stood up from is chair near the fire and extended his hand to Minerva, who gladly took it. As they sat, a meal which could only have been prepared by the house elves appeared. They ate in silence for a while, until Albus spoke, as they were starting the dessert:

"We should finish the game tomorrow"

She looked up at him and nodded "Yes, it's getting late, I should get going"

"I didn't mean I wanted you to leave"

They locked gazes, and, once again, the world seemed to stand still. Minerva was getting used to this feeling awfully quickly, and it scared her.

"I'm sorry Albus, but I promised Poppy and Pomona I would join them after dinner. Thank you for the wonderful time, but I really have to go now."

She stood up form her chair and walked to the door, not looking back, not knowing she'd left a confused and even hurt Albus behind.

_TBC_

_A.N.: Two more chapters to wrap this up, and I'm thinking of a sequel that is not exactly a sequel… Anyway, read and review. __Thanks to __Minerva M McGonagall__, __Merciful Heavens__, T, __stsgirlie__, __skrewtkeeper__, __SylvaDragon__ and __Mania4ka__, and for everyone who did not review, but put this story on his/her Story Alert/ Favorite Story lists. _


	4. Part IV

Minerva walked down the dark corridor heading to her private chambers. For Merlin's sake, she thought, what had happened in Albus' office just a few minutes ago? He had asked her to stay. Not to play chess, he had made that quite clear. Why had she run away? She was scared. Of what, she didn't know. Maybe it was the idea of having her feelings reciprocated that had made her realize she wasn't ready for this. But did he felt anything for her? Suddenly she wished she hadn't left. She could be up in his office, talking to him and even having fun, instead of in her rooms, alone. But no, she couldn't stay there without the risk of making a fool out of herself. Everything had been fine while they were only playing chess and making small talk, but it would be a whole different situation if she had to look into his eyes for a conversation. She was afraid and unsure about many things, but most of all she was afraid of losing control. Through all the years she had spent away from Hogwarts, away from him, she had never even once stopped to think what she was supposed to do if she discovered he loved her too, or worse, if she discovered he felt nothing but friendship towards her. She had never had to face a situation like this one, where her heart was at stake. She didn't know what the right thing to do was, and the things she couldn't even think of doing. She had never felt what is like to be in love, until now. She realized she loved him right after she left Hogwarts, but this was the first time she had to be face to face with Albus since she discovered the nature of her feelings for him.

Up in his office, when she had looked up from the chess board to meet his eyes and the world seemed to stand still, she knew she wasn't ready for it. It didn't matter if it was love or rejection; she wasn't ready for neither of them. So she ran away. She left him there, probably wondering what had gotten into her. She would have to face him in the morning and explain why she had acted that way, but until then she would have the time to come up with a good excuse.

In her chambers, she changed into her nightgown and curled up in a chair in front of the fire to read. Immersed in the world of Transfiguration, she didn't notice the hours going by, or the fact that she had forgotten completely about Albus for the first time that day. It seemed a lifetime ago, but it had only been a few hours, that she had arrived at Hogwarts and seen him for the first time in all those years. When their eyes met for the first time, she was sure she could hear her feelings coming back and settling in for a longtime stay.

She heard a knock on her door and glanced at the clock on the wall; it read 12 o'clock. Who would be at her door this late? She had told Albus she would meet Poppy and Pomona that night, but she had lied; they had agreed to meet the night after. Wand in hand, she slowly got up and opened the door.

"Albus?"

"Hello, Minerva. Did I wake you up?"

"No, no. Please, come in" she opened the door further and waited for him to get in and sit down on the couch.

"I didn't know if you'd still be with Poppy and Pomona" he said

"Oh. Well, our meeting was postponed" she muttered uncomfortably

"Really? Why?" he asked

"Pomona, uh, she didn't want to leave her plants for the night. She was, is, working on some kind of experiment, I believe" she said, amazed at herself for having found an acceptable excuse in record time.

"Is she?" he smiled, and if he knew Minerva was lying.

Minerva didn't answer. She stood near the fire, looking anywhere but at Albus.

"Minerva?" he said after a long and uncomfortable silence.

"Yes?" she said, not looking at him.

"Please, sit down, Minerva"

She did as she was told, not for once questioning what he was doing.

"Look at me" he said again, and this time she was more reluctant to obey. When she finally did, after a full minute of debating with herself if this was safe, he continued "I want you to trust me, Minerva"

"I trust you."

"I don't mean now. I mean that I want you to trust me for as long as you live. I want a friendship to grow between us, a friendship based on trust. I want you to trust me as much as I trust you. Do you think you could ever do that?"

"Yes." She said, still unsure of what he meant.

"Good. So now can you tell me why did you run away from me?" he asked, looking deep into her eyes.

The time to explain had come sooner than she thought.

"I was late to meet Poppy and Pomona"

"No, you were not. You'll only meet tomorrow" he said calmly.

She had never been able to understand how Albus always seemed to know everything there was to know. "Albus…"

"Trust me, Minerva"

"I trust you, Albus! Good Lord, I took Animagi lessons with you. Do you think I would put my life in your hands if I didn't trust you? We both know how dangerous the Animagi training can be"

"Then tell me, Minerva."

"There is nothing to tell, really, Albus. You're making a fuss out of nothing"

"We were doing absolutely fine until you said it was getting late and hurried away"

"Albus" she moved closer to him and looked intensely into his eyes "Alright, you win. I left for a reason. But I'm sorry; I cannot tell you what it is"

"Why not?"

"I'm still figuring it out myself"

He smiled at her and nodded. "Do you think you will be able to tell me when you are ready?"

"Why does it matter?"

"Answer my question first"

"Well, I don't know, I guess it depends on the answer"

"Very well, now I shall tell you why I am preoccupied with this. Let's simply say that it matters because I want to know about every little thing that bothers you"

There was a long silence before Minerva found her voice to ask "Why?"

"During your Animagi training, we became what you could call friends. Unfortunately we didn't have much to work on this friendship because you left. I would really like to take it from where we stopped; the chess games, the late talks, the occasional walk on the gardens. I want this friendship to grow"

"Yes, you said that"

"What do you say about it, then?"

She smiled, looking into his eyes. This time, she didn't feel insecure or scared, and when she spoke, her voice had back the firmness which was characteristic of her.

"I say let's do it"

He smiled and kissed her hand the second time that day. And she blushed, the second time that day. It was amazing how many emotions a human being could feel in a matter of hours. When she left his office, she was afraid, and had set her mind to try to avoid being alone with Albus any longer than necessary. Now, their eyes locked together, his hand still holding hers, and the promise of a friendship hanging in the air, she felt warm and secure. All of it because of Albus.

"I should probably go" he said, regretfully letting go of her hand

"It's late"

"Or early, depends on your point of view" he smiled and got up. He bid her goodnight and walked to the door. He paused, his hands on the doorknob, and turned to face her. "There's something I've been meaning to ask you, Minerva"

"Yes?"

"You know, it has been an awfully long time since I last saw you…" he tried to choose his words carefully "Since the last time I saw you in your…" he looked away, frustrated, still trying to say what he wanted. When he looked back at Minerva, she was smiling knowingly.

"You shouldn't be ashamed to ask, Albus. After all, it wouldn't be possible without you" she said, and before he could speak, on the spot Minerva sat was a grey tabby cat.

"Do you read minds, my dear?" he walked over to her "Or only mine?" he sat beside her and stroked her neck, receiving a purr of delight from the animal. "I have forgotten how beautiful you are. Both in animal and human forms" before the tabby cat could react, Albus was already at the door. With his hand on the knob, he said over his shoulder "Goodnight, my dear" and left.

For minutes after he had left, Minerva had stayed on her Animagus form, having forgotten to transform back, due to the state of shock she had seemed to slip in when she heard Albus saying she was beautiful. He hadn't only said she made a beautiful grey tabby cat, but also that she, Minerva McGonagall, was beautiful. She was sure she had heard him saying that. It couldn't be her imagination, could it? Finally managing to transform back, Minerva closed her eyes and replayed the night's events on her mind. Albus had come down to her chambers and said that he wanted a friendship to grow between the two of them. Not to grow into a romantic relationship, but to grow, simply. Basically, he had said that he wanted them to be great friends, maybe even the best of friends. But she had lost track of the conversation when his hand came in touch with her skin, in a much more intimate way than by simply kissing her hand. What does he want?, she thought, getting up and walking over to her bed, where a restless night's sleep waited for her.

TBC

A.N.: I know it has been an awfully long time since my last post, but I was not very happy with this fic. I thought about giving up on it, but decided against it; instead, I've changed a lot of things, so this fic is not going to take the course I had in mind when I started writing it. But, anyway, all you need to know is that the fic is back, and I fully intend to finish it. I want to thank my lovely reviewers: Minerva M McGonagall, Merciful Heavens, T, stsgirlie, skrewtkeeper, SylvaDragon, Mania4ka, Junora.


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